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比如這道題,談的是失敗可以使人們學到有益的東西。
同時,這些作文有的以敘述見長,有的以說理見長,但都顯示了作者縝密的思維和令人信服的說理方式。
An essay in this category demonstrates little mastery, and is flawed by ONE OR MORE of the following weaknesses:
作者的開頭使用了一系列反問句,值得我們學習。
我們在前面提到過,為了節約時間,要略過方框以外的內容,因為方框以外的內容每次考試都是一樣的,考生應該直接看方框內的作文題。
我們建議考生平時多練習在短時間內完成作文的能力,自己給自己規定時間。
同時,該段落結尾處也沒有重復thesis statement以加強該例子和中心論點之間的聯系。
主要原因還是他們沒有形成一個開始段落的套路。
There's a common saying usually applied to sports:"It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game." This saying, however, can easily be applied to how we live and whether or not we are able to achieve personal happiness. As the Humboldt quotation suggests, it's not the events that occurs in our lives but rather the way we react to these events that most affects our happiness. Excellent representations of this can be found in Shakespeare's "Hamlet," where characters respond differently to the same situation and gain varying levels of happiness because of their respective reactions.
在文學界,一般會認為一個作者書賣得越多,他的價值越大,但作者提出了一個發人深思的問題:克林頓的傳記因為自己的政治名聲而登上暢銷書寶座,傳記的銷量驚人,而Blume雖然沒有克林頓
文章開端時,往往需要對題目的觀點進行restate,大家在做這個必要功課時,一定要避免重抄,而應該是改寫,或者用自己的語言復述,更好的是用另一句名言進行論證。
切記不要將內容寫出方框。
下面我們介紹一篇獲得滿分的敘述形式的文章: Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.No one is contented in this world, I believe. There is always something left to desire, and the last thing longed for always seems the most necessary to happiness. Marie Corelli, A Romance of Two Worlds Assignment: Do you think that people are capable of finding happiness or are they always searching for something beyond what they have? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and example taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observation. 優秀范文: Happiness means different things to different people. My sister is happiest when she performs onstage in a play. My best friend is happiest when he is pitching a perfect game on the baseball field. People find happiness in all sorts of ways, but that doesn't mean they stop searching for something more. Finding happiness and continuing to pursue other goals are not mutually exclusive propositions. Instead, both of these activities can work together to motivate you, as I've learned from my own experience. When I was in middle school, my favourite class was art and I was disappointed that the class period was so short and only twice a week. Although I was happy during those times, I really missed art during the rest of the week. However, knowing that art class was approaching helped motivate me to pay attention in the rest of my classes because I knew that my "reward" would soon follow. Once we were in the art room and I was immersed in painting or sculpting or drawing, I found incredible happiness in the creative process and carried this feeling with me throughout the remainder of the day, yet I wasn't fully satisfied with this small amount of exposure and I wanted more. I did appreciate the happiness I had, but at the same time I was looking something beyond that. So I begged my parents to let me take art classes after school and on the weekend, I managed to convince them I'd be happier if I could have this additional creative time. Taking more and different art classes outside of school exposed me to a variety of different techniques and media that I never had time to explore in school, like metal-working, wood-carving and print-making. I grew even more enthusiastic about the visual arts and found even more happiness than I could have imagined thanks to these additional classes. By wanting something more, I was able to find additional contentment and inspiration and I truly was happy with the results. Yet I didn't stop reaching for other goals. I really wanted to have my artwork displayed for the public, so I worked very hard for several years to develop a portfolioand I achieved my goal last year with my first solo show at a local gallery. This success gave me much happiness, and I'm already planning additional shows. Being content with my art makes me happy on a regular basis, but this doesn't keep me from wanting something more at the same time. For me, striving for additional goals adds to my happiness, so I don't see the two actions as contradictory at all. Instead, searching for something beyond what you have can help you to appreciate and enhance whatever it is that makes you truly happy. 【點評】 這個作文題問的是,人們能否尋找到快樂,或人們是否總不滿足于眼前的快樂? 在第一段,作者首先說明對不同的人來說,快樂意味著不同的內容,人們可以找到快樂,但不會就此停止。
Time has a doomsday book, on whose pages he is continually recording illustrious names. But as often as a new name is written there, an old one disappears. Only a few stand in illuminated characters never to be effaced.
在講了幾句相關的提示性話語后,作者非常鮮明地提出了自己對這個問題的看法(In fact, the quality of a product is far more important),并接著通過寫最近發生的例子及文學界的一些例子來支持自己的觀點。
Although Gertrude and Hamlet are fictional characters, the way Shakespeare portrays them is representative of real human behavior. Many people let themselves be influenced by what happens to them, like Hamlet, and these people have difficulty finding happiness. On the other hand, some people, like Gertrude, react in a more positive way to any event that occurs and thus achieve a certain level of personal happiness regardless of what happens. This contrast proves that our reaction to events rather than the events themselves is the critical factor for achieving happiness.
請注意,每次考試的打分表都稍有差別)。
我們自己應該有這個體會,就是看別人的英文草體會很吃力。
把結論重復后,緊接著就是把自己的論據即剛才的例子再提一下,說明是從這幾個例子中證明了剛才的論點的,大致可以寫成From example A and B, we can draw such a conclusion。
中文的作文喜歡以“理”服人,但西方的慣例是讓事實說話,所謂的Facts are more eloquent than lips(事實勝于雄辯)。
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